Arrgh!

My blog frustrates me. I want to write funny, clever, thought-provoking things. I want to be able to come back to my blog and be please, challenged, reminded, etc with what I see. I think one of my problems is I'm not sure who my audience is. Me? My comment leavers (you precious few)? The universe? When I took my college writing classes and even when I taught writing myself, one of the first things to do before you write was consider the audience.

Who is a blogger's audience?

The Safe World of Blogging

I just love the fact that I can type my thoughts, beliefs, opinions and questions in my blog and feel safe in the knowledge that any comments I get will not hurt me or infuriate me. This is not the case everywhere.

Today, I thought I would comment on an article in the local newspaper (on their website). Basically, it was just some questions I still had after reading the article. Someone else commented about my comment and implied I said a whole lot of things I never said, especially since all I did is ask three questions and make one statement. This person also took it upon themselves to brag about how they could find faults in others and liked to shove it back in their faces. What did he want, a gold star?

How dare I hope to begin an intellectual conversation? I think I'll just stick to the safe world of blogging.

More Tae Kwon Do

Time for a Kyrsten Tae Kwon Do story. They call her age group (4-5) "Little Ninjas." Master Kil actually had them using nun chucks (had to look up the spelling-there is more than one) in their second class. I know, just picture it.

Anyway, if you have ever been around four and five year olds they ask a lot of questions and make lots of random comments. They also will blurt out a question or comment the moment one crosses their minds. And a question or comment can be triggered by anything. So imagine trying to teach the "Little Ninjas" a few aspects of Tae Kwon Do while they are asking bizarre(to us) questions or making random comments.

Something else you should know about this particular class is that it had a substitute teacher. He had a more militaristic style and actually expected the "Little Ninjas" to just follow directions without talking and seemed rather annoyed that they would just blurt out their random questions or comments.

So as the "Little Ninjas" (attempt to) stand at attention my darling princess of a daughter asks, "Do you have pink belts here?"

Master Military replies, "Um, no."

Then Little Ninja Kyrsten asks, "Well, do you have purple belts?"

M.M. replies, "No, we don't have purple either."

To which L.N. Kyrsten proclaims, "Well I like pink and purple."

At this point I expected Master Military to make them all do push ups (yep, he did that throughout the class), but instead he said to her, "Well, when you move on to the next belt, your mom can dye your white belt pink or purple."

This was a satisfatory answer for Kyrsten and for mom. Maybe I should give Master Military a little more credit.

Tae Kwon Do Class

There are so many stories from Evan's Tae Kwon Do class that I could tell. I was biting my lip to keep from laughing the entire time, while furiously texting all the funny things Master Kil (wouldn't it be scary if it were two l's) said to the new white belts to Natalie.

He would ask them questions and then tell them the answer he expected them to give when asked again. For example.

Master Kil: Who is your hero?

Students: My mom and dad because they do everything for me.

Sometimes he would ask a question, let the students give some answers and then tell them the expected answer to the question.

So then Master Kil asks, " Who is your best friend?"

And Evan shouts out, "God!"

Not what Master Kil was looking for, but a perfect answer in my book!

*Look forward to future Master Kil stories, I'm sure!

FINALLY DONE

This one deserves a blog! I am finally done with a paper I have been working on since approximately July 27, maybe earlier. Yeah, I need deadlines to motivate me. Teacher emailed today, "Where is your paper?" Hello motivation. I have worked on it little by little, but mostly I have just hemmed, hawed and procrastinated. I (the teacher) decided tonight was the night. Time to bite the bullet and get it done.

So here is to a whole day at the kitchen table writing about crap I really don't care about and going to bed at 2:00 a.m.!

Peace out!

The teacher

I lost my job today.

I am a teacher. I love teaching. I have been teaching at a small christian school for the last 7 or 8 years. The students there are amazing. Meanwhile, I spent most summers trying to break into the public school system where the money and stability were slightly higher. I had interview after interview and never seemed to be able to get my foot in the door, even though my husband did. It was exhausting, humiliating and discouraging.

Here I am again not able to do what I want to do so desperately. I can't imagine doing anything else. I truly believe it is what I am suppose to be doing.

So why can't I do it. I'm so frustrated, I'm angry. At the same time, I feel the need to pretend like it is no big deal. I don't want people to know I am doubting myself, my abilities, my destiny.

At the same time, I don't want to bring God into this (even if that isn't really an option). It brings up too many questions that can't be answered, and again doubts. Again frustration.

Try again tomorrow

Here I am, back in blog world, just trying to get in one entry before August is here. I'm going to blame my absence in July on the class I took, Children's Media Studies. I think I just figured out that I never come out of a class armed with the objectives the teacher set out with for the students. For example, I came out of this class with a new appreciation for video games thanks to a book called What Video Games Have to Teach Us About Learning and Literacy by James Paul Gee. Anyway, I had to do quite a bit of reading and movie viewing for the class and it ate up my July. Now I am trying to write a paper that is due in August sometime. I hate writing papers!!!

So here I am. With nothing to write, but a paper on children's media and identity development. Let's all just face it, I am much better at keeping up with other people's blogs than my own. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow.