This one deserves a blog! I am finally done with a paper I have been working on since approximately July 27, maybe earlier. Yeah, I need deadlines to motivate me. Teacher emailed today, "Where is your paper?" Hello motivation. I have worked on it little by little, but mostly I have just hemmed, hawed and procrastinated. I (the teacher) decided tonight was the night. Time to bite the bullet and get it done.
So here is to a whole day at the kitchen table writing about crap I really don't care about and going to bed at 2:00 a.m.!
Peace out!
August 15, 2008
August 2, 2008
The teacher
I lost my job today.
I am a teacher. I love teaching. I have been teaching at a small christian school for the last 7 or 8 years. The students there are amazing. Meanwhile, I spent most summers trying to break into the public school system where the money and stability were slightly higher. I had interview after interview and never seemed to be able to get my foot in the door, even though my husband did. It was exhausting, humiliating and discouraging.
Here I am again not able to do what I want to do so desperately. I can't imagine doing anything else. I truly believe it is what I am suppose to be doing.
So why can't I do it. I'm so frustrated, I'm angry. At the same time, I feel the need to pretend like it is no big deal. I don't want people to know I am doubting myself, my abilities, my destiny.
At the same time, I don't want to bring God into this (even if that isn't really an option). It brings up too many questions that can't be answered, and again doubts. Again frustration.
I am a teacher. I love teaching. I have been teaching at a small christian school for the last 7 or 8 years. The students there are amazing. Meanwhile, I spent most summers trying to break into the public school system where the money and stability were slightly higher. I had interview after interview and never seemed to be able to get my foot in the door, even though my husband did. It was exhausting, humiliating and discouraging.
Here I am again not able to do what I want to do so desperately. I can't imagine doing anything else. I truly believe it is what I am suppose to be doing.
So why can't I do it. I'm so frustrated, I'm angry. At the same time, I feel the need to pretend like it is no big deal. I don't want people to know I am doubting myself, my abilities, my destiny.
At the same time, I don't want to bring God into this (even if that isn't really an option). It brings up too many questions that can't be answered, and again doubts. Again frustration.
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